Reading Daniel's blog has uninspired me to post here more often.

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This morning I had my hair cut at the barber. The very same barber I used to go to from 1997 – 1999. Despite not haven’t seen me in the interim he not only remembered me but took great delight in reminding me of some past glories which I had long since forgotten. In 1998, for example, I used to have a multi-coloured Mohawk. Not only that but I used to be a ‘radical student politician’ who wanted to be a parliamentarian speech writer.

He asked me what I wanted done to my hair and I decided to go for ‘beautiful but respectable’.

‘A ha,’ he exclaimed with glee! ‘I told you you’d go respectable one day and you didn’t believe me. I told you you’d turn conservative and look at you now!’

And what does my fortune telling barber have to say about my future?

‘Psychology, you’ll be enrolled in psychology next.’

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I had grand plans of posting something showing off my domesticity but instead I find it of paramount importance that you help me determine the following. Assuming you have a choice, would you rather be killed by a ninja, a rabid dog, a dwarf or a hit man? Vote now in the polls.

And I don’t mean one of those pansy belly dancing dwarves. I mean a dwarf with an axe who swills beer from a tankard.

Also this is a shout-out to anyone who is feeling guilty because they punched someone else for no good reason today.

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And we all live here...

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You of course remember Gobbolino. She too lives with us and is dealing with having two dogs as companions admirably. Victoria looks a little surprised that she isn’t dead yet every time she sees her but I’m not sure what all the fuss is about.

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This is Jack and Molly, our Cavalier King Charles Spaniel pups. Jack is a tri-colour born last November and Molly is a blenheim born about 10 weeks ago. Both are intact and we currently plan to breed when they are of age. We are taking non-refundable deposits now.

Jack is as thick as a post but Molly is showing good signs. Check out the photo gallery.

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Reading Daniel’s Blog has inspired me to post here more often. Rather than the odd photo of people and animals, however, I would like to start by introducing a few key players, starting with my wife, Theresa.


Obviously Theresa is beautiful and intelligent and wonderful and I love her very much or I wouldn’t have married her. Some facts about Theresa which may not be manifestly obvious are that she is a doctor, currently working in renal and medicine, she sings beautifully and is a bible believing Christian.

We met on June 22 last year at rehearsals for a production of Pirates of Penzance. We were a couple onstage and on August 19 we became a couple offstage as well. We were married on April 12 this year and are now living across the road from where we met.

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It's not all about the perfect caramel fudge recipe, said Phil.

Diabolical really. It IS all about the perfect caramel fudge recipe.

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Theresa and I have been worried lately about what would happen to Jack if we were to die of lung cancer or emphysema so we have decided that we will both not smoke any more cigarettes. We will also not smoke any more cigars or pot. Obviously this is a big decision for us but we are thinking about how sad it would be if Jack were to become an orphan dog.

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Other things that cause cancer include Benzine, radiation, artificial sweeter and being in movies with Julia Roberts.

Things that have not yet been proved to cause cancer include whiskers on kittens, photos of sunshine and thinking about sexy time.

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When I'm not romancing Theresa...


... I like to keep her locked under the house.

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Theresa's car refused to start on Monday morning so I drove her to work at the very uncivilised hour of 8am. I did this again on Tuesday and this morning.

"What would Macgyver do?" This was pretty much where I was going wrong. I wasn't thinking like Macgyver.

So I start to think like Macgyver and at first it's all about how cute guys are but fortunately my raging hetrosexuality holds true and I set my mind to the task at hand. My mind cleared of all distractions and I could see how I could use every day items around me to fashion tools that could aid me. First of all I picked up my phone, dialed 0,  in order to get an outside line, and called RACQ to cunningly update my membership. With my membership now changed from the now sold Ford to the stunning European styling of the Citron, I utilised my mobile phone to report that my car was not starting.

Opening the bonnet was a challenge that was beyond the RACQ guy but I cunningly, just like Macgyver would do, asked Theresa to look up the manual and before long we had the bonnet open and the battery changed.

In one last act of Macgyverness I checked out the RACQ guys butt as he was leaving. Oooo that's tight!

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Congratulations to Dan and Kathryn who finally obeyed the poll.

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Behold Gargantutron, Destroyer of Worlds!

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